Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
