what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
