We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
