They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I love you. Go after that dick
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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