Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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