why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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