this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
