So drunk its hurt
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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