You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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