There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize