No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
