i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
