Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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