How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
