I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
