thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
