it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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