Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
