Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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