Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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