Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize