what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
