did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
