Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
