dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
