If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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