He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
