I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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