Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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