She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
