Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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