i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize