I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
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it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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