Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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