Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
