You smell like stripper and shame
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
