meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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