the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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