Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
