This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
