My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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