You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
