The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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