so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the condom got lost in my hair
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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