When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
