My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
