please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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