And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
