You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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