I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have aggressive nipples.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
