Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
