You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
