the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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