Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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