No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
