Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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