How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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