Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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