I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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