His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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