I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
