so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Randomize
