She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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