oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
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Everyone says I win the strip club
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize