i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
