Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
