It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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