We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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