I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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