I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
