'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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