proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
