yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
