I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we're making bets on your personal life
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
