The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize